Saturday, January 15, 2011

Seven

Hello all, hello.

I commend you for checking this here blog even though the whole premise is a bit outdated.
What I'm about to tell you all has nothing to do with Vienna but this is my only outlet in which I can humor and preach to my good friends.

This is going to take ya'll back to the summer of 2008.
I was sitting in the Tuileries Garden in Paris, just a few meters away from the cafe below.

Cafe de Pomone Jardin des Tuileries

I'm not sure where I heard or read it, but I had recently become aware that in the year 2011 the world population was going to hit 7 billion. It got me thinking. My god. 7 billion people. In 1960, the population hit 3 billion. In only fifty years, the population more than doubled....whew. Anyway anyway, I started think...huh - what if, in 2011, we, the world, get together and have a month long party?  You skeptics out there, don't worry, it'll get better. I was a wee little 18 year old boy in Paris in a dreamlike state of mind, but I was totally aware of the ridiculousness of the idea. I wanted all 7 billion people in the world to gather and enjoy each other's company, drink and eat, put on some artsy performances, have translators at the ready, make sure of adequate law enforcement (I think we considered all of the criminals in jail and such -- I forget exactly what was decided on that but that is a minute detail in the grand scheme of things here). Basically, the plan was to organize the most historic occasion in history. Much thought even when into where the event would take place. Long division, crazy addition, and multiplication was performed on napkins. I wanted to make sure everyone at the party, soon-to-be-named "SEVEN" -- no, no not the Brad Pitt-Morgan Freeman "SE7EN," had plenty of room to move freely. The weather and climate was a major factor as I didn't want to get hit with any casualties as a result of the worldly festival. As you can imagine, this scene in a splendid garden on a somewhat brisk summer day (if I remember correctly) was quite the spectacle.

Now, in the past two and a half years, I've explained that same plan (if you haven't realized yet, I've been half serious-half joking throughout) to a few friends...I'm not sure exactly who I told but I know whoever I told had a nice laughing fit. Of course, I know it's an impossible impossibility. I simply loved toying with the absurd idea. I considered writing it all out in some semi-official fashion just in case some meanie  would try to steal it but thought 'Heh...it's just so ridiculous I don't think anyone would ever spend more than 10 seconds thinking about it' so I didn't. What was I going to do about it anyway?

Since the New Year, I hadn't really realized "Oh wow, it's 2011, I better get ready for Seven."
UNTIL this morning when...

Papa Joe and I drove out to Great Neck for our semi-annual dentist visit. I sat down and immediately, one of the dental hygienists comes into the waiting room and tells me they're ready for me and to bring a magazine just in case. I grab the only magazine whose cover was completely visible. It happened to be a National Geographic with a big "POPULATION 7 BILLION HOW YOUR WORLD WILL CHANGE" on the cover. Since you all now know of my curious interest in world population, it wouldn't surprise you that I quickly perked up. I didn't care that the dentist was about to mangle my mouth and teeth...I had some GOOD reading ahead of me. I wasn't able to do it though, because the dentist was right on time. 

As soon as the dental hygienist lady told me I was done, I darted out of the room and into the waiting room. I plopped down in a chair and violently flipped through the magazine. Page Twenty struck me and struck me real hard. It read "Seven Billion: World Party - As the global population approaches the seven billion mark, we should all probably try to get to know one another a little better. What if somebody threw a party and invited every single person living on Earth? It would be a logistical nightmare, but you might be surprised at the relatively small size of the venue needed to fit seven billion people - even if we gave them enough room to dane. Don't forget to RSVP."  --- Nigel Holmes

Oh don't you worry, Nigel. I RSVPd a long time ago...two and a half years ago actually. Below Nigel's paragraph, there are some figures and maps showing how much land is needed for the event. GREAT.

Two things:
1. I guess this means I'm not as crazy as I thought.
2. It's just a shame...the person who witnessed the original plan concocted back in 2008 is well, somewhere...somewhere sticky. Somewhere sticky and tricky.

Thus, I have no testimonial proof...oh freakin well. You win, MR. HOLMES.

1 comment:

  1. Well, at least you got it down here your blog, Danny Boy.
    ~papa joe

    ReplyDelete